Worth in the Exhaustion...

I snapped.

"I'm so exhausted" I told my husband.

After several congested weeks with a jam-packed schedule, I was looking forward to a family get-away. A handful of days to enjoy the coastal sun & fresh air, afternoons of relaxed exploring, and lazy evenings of reading poolside at our hotel. But by the end of day one, the exhaustion of the previous 3 weeks boiled over. Instead of desiring a family vacation, I desired a hole to crawl into. A bed to catch my collapse.

"I can't do all of this. I'm tired, I'm drained, and I've got nothing left." I continued to sob.

I pouted over my parenting, and my lack of patience.

I complained about my inadequacies, and not being good enough.

I was ready to throw in my tattered towel.

But in the midst of my pity-party, God spoke to my heart...

This is worth the exhaustion.

They are worth the exhaustion.

I may not be able to be a supermom or a superwoman, and I may not be able to have my fairy-tale-family-vacation (without bickering daughters and complaints from the backseat). But this is what was needed for me to recognize something essential.

It's worth it.

The tears. The tired. The daily wondering if I'm a terrible mother.

They are worth it. My daughters.

If God, through all of my sin and selfishness, with my tendency to swing emotion from joy to drain, thankfulness to ungrateful, if through all of that, God thinks I'm worth the cost, then through Him I can find the strength to count the cost too.

I cost Him A LOT. Mockery. Blood. Death.

Jesus paid the greatest price for me. For us.

He is loving.

He is patient.

He is kind.

He is long-suffering.

He is all the things I need to parent well.

And it is worth it! They are worth it!