The Kindness of Friends

You've heard that it takes a community to raise a child. This summer I found that it takes numerous friends to free up a mother of five.

In August, I was able to go on a missions trip team to Montreal with my oldest son. We worked with a church there to provide an English immersion program for one week. I served in the kitchen while my husband worked as an English "buddy" to the French participants. We had a great time, but couldn't have done it without all the help on the home front.

We were gone for nine days, and my husband didn't want to take holiday time from work when we weren't all together as a family. So what's a mother to do? Fortunately, I was able to call upon my friends to care for my remaining four children in my absence.

Karen was the first helper. She took care of my three youngest, for two days, while my husband was at work, even while she was entertaining company of her own. My kids had a marvelous time at her house.

Next was Laverne. She came to our home for two afternoons, played with the kids and made them lunch. Laverne was awesome, bringing crafts with her to ensure my kids had fun.

My friend, Myrna Lynn was gracious enough to take my daughter for two days and one night. Anna is the only girl in our family, and with me gone, she definitely needed some girl time. She also needed someone to brush through her long hair. It took Myrna Lynn an hour to get all the tangles out!

Still another friend, Connie gave my kids a fun day out at her acreage, playing with her kids. She even came into town to pick them up!

Our good friend, Sara was also very helpful. She took my middle son for most of the week, while he went to day camp with her son. He was able to be away from home overnight, with his good friend.

Last but certainly not least, my best friend, Murray, who is also my husband, filled in all the blank spots in the schedule. He made sure everyone ate regular meals, wore clean clothes, and got where they needed to go. He did double duty, as both mom and dad for the week.

These descriptions don't do justice to what my friends did for my children and for me. Since I wasn't here, I don't know exactly the details in what they did, but I do know that their care eased my absence for my kids, kept my husband from being overloaded, and freed me to serve. They extended great kindness to me and my family.

So it really does take a community to help raise my children. I'm fortunate to be part of a church community who helped my family, so that I, in turn could help others. They exemplified a verse from the Bible:

"Be kind and compassionate to one another." (Ephesians 4:32)

I thank God for blessing me with such faithful and kind friends.

Unexpected Friends

Friends may enter our lives at the most surprising times.

A friend need not be someone with whom you spend a lot of time. It may simply be a stranger whom God sends to meet a need for the moment.


Some friends will fulfill a brief purpose in your life and others will stay forever.

In our early years my husband, sons and I lived in a row of townhouses where we knew our neighbours by sight but not in a personal way.

I knew of Carol a few doors over but never tried to make her acquaintance - she worked nights as a cocktail waitress and I worked by day as an on call teacher.

One day while shopping in the dairy aisle of our local grocers, I noticed Carol standing nearby. I don't think she saw me and I was in a big hurry to get on with my chores. To be polite, however, I asked how she was doing.

But my mind raced ahead to the next errand.

"Actually, I am not doing very well," my neighbour said. "Last week I fell down the stairs and had a miscarriage."

Oh no! My heart cried out for her. I understood the grief of a miscarriage.

This encounter led to a casserole dinner, many cups of tea, life-altering conversations, prayers for healing, and a valued friendship.

When we moved to another province and I became critically ill, Carol wrote a tender poem and made a special trip to visit me in hospital. Through many moves and years, we have lost contact but our friendship remains a great blessing to me.

Many times I have been surprised by the different kinds of people who became my friends - but none as much as my brother Ken's best friend, Ron.

At twenty one I felt it was my duty to guide my younger sibling, so I told him I did not think Ron was a suitable buddy for him. He was loud, arrogant and liked to party. Ken turned the tables on me and challenged me to trust his judgement. "Make the effort to get to know my friend. "

"Alright," I sighed. "I will try." Anything for a brother.

Ken's friend and I took long walks and made frequent visits to the A&W. We all have certain expectations of how others should behave and live their lives. I discovered Ron was a person who did not let others squeeze him into their mould, mine included. I admired him for his strength of character.

When Ron left for an out of town job, he gave me his birthstone ring as a sign of respect and friendship. I felt honoured. Now my brother and I had a friend in common.

During Ron's absence he sent me thoughtful cards and letters. When he returned I discovered something unexpected. I missed his company and never wanted to be apart from him again.

The following year we married and today, 42 years later, I am still enjoying the company of the best friend a woman could wish for in a marriage.

Ron and I agree that it is our common commitment to God's leadership in our lives that makes it possible to remain devoted friends.

We pray for one another, stand up for one another, laugh at each others silly jokes, bring out the best in each other, and during the times we fail to do that, we depend on God to give us patience and kindness to get back on track.

Yes, God sends unexpected friends at the most surprising times. Some meet our need for laughter and recreation, others for comfort and support. But the best friend He has ever offered us is Himself. God is a forever friend who will never leave us nor forsake us. Through all seasons, He stands by to be dearer to us than the best friend on earth. When we give Him first place, he makes all our friendships go better.

A friend loves at all times.
Proverbs 17:17

A Friend for Tea and What that Means to Me

Since I love to write but am never really sure what to write about, a friend of mine gave me a topic to write on and then share at our next tea.  The topic was friendship.  In particular a question; What does friendship mean to you?  A very good topic.

I wrote it three times.  The first two were nothing short of a research paper on friendship.  They didn't cut it.  Friendship is too valuable of a topic; it needed to be from the heart.

One afternoon as we sat for tea and with trembling hands, I shared with her my answer to her question.  Here is a portion I would like to share with you...

Friendship.

Just looking at the word itself on the stark whiteness of a page, makes me think of a treasure. Something to be valued, cherished, something unique and special. If I had a treasure box of the things I hold dearest to my heart, friendship would surely be nestled with great care amongst my other treasures.

There was a time in my life when I longed for a real friend, someone who would see me for everything I really am, all the good and all the bad. All my pain and all my joy. Someone who was not afraid to call me out when I was wrong and encourage me when I was right. Someone who would be there to listen when I needed to talk. Someone who welcomed me into their life with unconditional love.  Someone who would allow me to be all of the same to them. These are all the things that friendship means to me.

I prayed for many years and through many tears for that friend.

God answered my cry, just as He promises He would.

"He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry.  When He hears it He will answer you..."
Isaiah 30:19


There was a second part to her question.  Would you rather have a few good friends or many friends? Another good question...

Not only did God answer my cries for that friend, He answered ten-fold.

"Now all glory be to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more that we might ask or think or imagine..."
Ephesians 3:20


Over time, very special people came into my life and have made a profound impact on who I am today. Each one brought, in their own way, something new and special to the meaning of friendship. I would not turn away someone whom I felt God was bringing into my life as a true friend. So can answer the question of how many? I am not in control of quantity, I am only in control of quality, of what I offer and what I am open to receiving from each person brought into my life. God has it in His hands who and how many He brings.


The origins of the word, friend, are stemmed out of the middle English language. From my limited English studies, this was a language that encompasses passion and holds value in its words. The origin of the word friend is 'to love'.

To me that really sums it up. Friendship is a continuum of love.  I love this bible passage which speaks to the value of relationships:


"Love one another with a genuine affection and take great delight in honoring one another."
Romans 12:10


Genuine love and honor - it sums up what friendship is to me.

I was delighted to take the time to then sit with my friend and tell her what she meant to me as a friend. A precious moment.

What does friendship mean to you? Do you have a friend in your life who needs to know today what they mean to you?  I encourage you to honor and love completely, those special people who are brought into your life. Your friends.